Arguing...!?!

We are talking about negative traits, alright! Yesterday we learnt about classical insults. But what else could be more annoying and irritating than Arguing (to understand the difference between Arguing and Fair Fight , click on the title to take the test) which results in Insults…?!?

A boy once asked his father, "Dad, how do wars begin?”
"Well, take the First World War," said his father. "That got started when Germany invaded Belgium."
Immediately his wife interrupted him, "Tell the boy the truth! It began because somebody was assassinated!”
The husband drew himself up with an air of superiority and snapped back, "Are you answering the question or am I?"
Turning her back upon him in a huff, the wife stormed out the room and slammed the door as hard as she could!
When the dishes stopped rattling in the cupboard an uneasy silence followed, broken at length by the boy:
"Daddy, you don't have to tell me how wars begin; I KNOW now!"

We all do it sometimes! We all know what it is to walk away from an argument with the mouth dry, tummy in a knot, head hot and spinning, and heart sick, wishing that it had never happened, deeply regretting the unkind words that were said!

Believe it or not, more homes are destroyed by arguments than by fires or funerals!

We all know that arguing for the sake of arguing is a pointless waste of time!
We have absolutely NOTHING to gain - only our time, energy and someone's friendship is LOST! It is said that the only people who really LISTEN to an argument are the neighbors!

Some people love to argue, and will do anything to prove their point! They'd rather lose a friend than an argument! For others, arguing has become a HABIT, an automatic reaction of saying something contradictory to whatever is being said!

One compulsive arguer was the early American statesman, philosopher and author, Benjamin Franklin. As a youth he loved nothing more than a good argument until a close friend took him aside and said,
"Ben, you are impossible! Your opinions have a slap in them for everyone who differs with you! Your friends enjoy themselves better when you are not around! You think you KNOW so much that no one can TELL you anything. Indeed, no one is going to try, for the effort would only lead to discomfort and hard work! So you are not likely ever to know any more than you do now - which is actually very LITTLE!"

Ben Franklin was BIG enough and WISE enough to accept these stinging truths, and to realize that he was headed for failure and social disaster! So he immediately began to change his bigoted, argumentative ways!

He became one of the best loved, wisest and most diplomatic men in American history, and was actually remembered for saying:
"If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes.
But it will be an empty victory, because you will never get your opponent's good will!"

NO ONE ever really wins an argument!
You can shout and scream and argue until you're blue in the face, but people are not going to believe that you are right unless they WANT to believe it!

And even if they would LIKE to agree with you, your tone may have put them so much on the defensive that it would be like an utter humiliation, a defeat on the battlefield, for them to confess you're right or even partly right!

And remember, no amount of logic or argument will make anyone change his mind if he doesn't want to! Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each side more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right! You can't win an argument, because if you lose it, you lose it!
And if you WIN it, you still LOSE it! Why?
Well, suppose you triumph over the other person and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he's an absolute idiot. Then what?
You'll feel fine, smug and satisfied. But what about him/her? You'll have made him/her feel inferior. You've hurt his pride. He/she may resent your triumph, and…
"A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still!"

WHAT CAUSES FIGHTS AND QUARRELS AMONG YOU?
…. “Don't they come from your lusts and desires that battle within you? You want something, but don't get it...so you quarrel and fight…”

So greediness and selfishness can be one of the root causes of arguing, trying to get the things you selfishly want.

“Only by PRIDE come quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.”

Also, as we've clearly seen, many arguments are caused by SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS. Pushing your point, thinking that you're so right, putting yourself up and the other person down by contradicting them! And what it all boils down to is a lack of LOVE! Arguing isn't the real problem, that's just a SYMPTOM!

LACK OF LOVE is the REAL problem!

Stay tuned...!