React OR Respond…!?!

The other day I was sitting in a restaurant waiting for my friend, watching around the people and their interactions, my favorite pastime and hobby! Suddenly, a cockroach flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. I wondered if this was the cockroach’s response to all the glory that was spoken about it!

She started screaming out of fear. With panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group got cranky to what was happening. The lady finally managed to push the cockroach to another lady in the group.

Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama. The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed and threw it out with his fingers. Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering!

Was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior? If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos. It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies. I realized even in my case then, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss that disturbs me, but it’s my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.

Its not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.

More than the problem, it’s my reaction to the problem that hurts me. The Take-Away:
The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.

We should not react in life, we should always respond. Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always intellectual…!

A Reaction is a reflex –impulsive action focused on a narrow part of the overall situation, usually to the exclusion of larger goals and objectives. Often it is quick and happens without much or any thought – similar to the reflex when the doctor hits your knee with the rubber hammer and your lower leg flips up. It’s an answer to a specific question rather than an answer to the need behind the question. It’s action based on an awareness of, and a solution for, only a “narrow slice” of the situation.

A Response however, is a wiser course of action, encompassing the complexities of people and circumstances with an unflinching focus on goals and outcomes. Its action to accomplish goals based on a more thorough understanding of the whole situation. Try to comprehend the message and further to it, we would see some golden rules tomorrow.

Stay tuned…!